I had my second night of yoga last night. After the day I experienced, my practice was anything but focused. My mind was on all the things that went wrong. I was heavy in my movement, hardly caring about what I was doing. The whole class was thumping and bumping through the flow. I was sore from the day before, trying to push myself too hard and not listening to my body. Normally, when I go to yoga, whatever burdens me is lifted. Tonight, it didn't work that way.
It was a disappointment after the motivation and intention that filled me just the day before. I treated the practice as just another thing I had to do, and that didn't work.
This morning, I did 20 minutes of yoga. The same thing occurred - I just did it because I was supposed to, and I didn't really think about what I was doing. Where did the intention go?
This week is themed "Presence". I'm not doing very well thinking about what I'm supposed to be doing. Maybe it's because I haven't made any radical diet changes, but whatever it is, I hope it clicks eventually. I don't feel like I'm actually on a journey, like I'm doing anything differently. But these are the early days, and I'm sure I'll feel that way soon. For now, I'm having trouble with it.
