As my first post-fruit-cleanse meal, I had oatmeal with mashed banana in it. It was good! It was something familiar to my body so not too shocking. Everything seemed fine. I snacked on carrots right before lunch.
Our instructors sent us some suggestions for after the cleanse. I was so excited because sushi, one of my favorite dishes, was one of the items! I headed over to the sushi place across from the law school. I ordered a California roll because it too had items familiar to my body - avacado, rice. I also ordered a spicy tuna roll... just because I love it. Turns out they forgot the spicy part of the roll. I was disappointed but it was a healthier option, so I dealt with it.
I ate the rolls pretty slowly, taking my time so as not to shock my system. I finished, content... and then it went downhill. I started getting ravenously hungry, feeling my appetite increase second-by-second. I started shaking. My breath started to get heavier. My attitude dipped dramatically. I didn't know what to do... all I could think about was getting more food. I sat with it for a while, but my mind kept coming back to wanting the free cookies upstairs. I decided to eat an apple. After the apple I was STILL hungry... until I stood up.
I stood up and felt how full my stomach was. Suddenly, all that ravenous appetite went away. I ventured up to the free cookies and grabbed one, but truly didn't want one. I stored it away for later as the apple was supposed to be my snack. The cookie had no effect on me when I did eat it later.
I made veggie and very lean ground beef stuffed red peppers for dinner. Nothing but veggies, beef and a little taco seasoning. I was fine while I ate it, but later that night I felt AWFUL again. This was a stomach ache like I haven't had before. It made me so ill I was in bed by 10:30.
Just before bed I decided to do my meditation. I had done the 20 minute morning one just fine. After 10 minutes, the anxious feeling I've mentioned before creeped up. I tried to focus on my breath, but that just made me more anxious. I tried removing my sweatshirt, and it creeped back up again. I tried to focus on my hands, switch positions, open my eyes - no dice. I finally had to give up on it because it felt like a full anxiety attack.
I'm not sure what the hell is going on, but after the last four days I'm feeling pretty jaded with the process. I still loooooove doing yoga every day, and it really makes me happy, but the rest of it? UGH. This stress is not conducive to stress-relief and relaxation, the goals of the program...
In good news, I've eaten pretty much what I want today and been successful at it. :)
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