So I finally made it to a yoga practice at the studio last night, after a really long, harrowing drive there. It was relaxing... definitely not a full house, nothing too difficult. Nice to be in the heat. I was in a good mind frame to tackle the craziness that was the supermarket.
At the supermarket, I bought ice cream. And I had some last night. I'm totally okay with that.
My little sister and the boy have been asking me why I'm doing this whole thing if it's making me miserable. I really fell off the bandwagon during and after the fruit cleanse. I'm finally listening to them and taking the intensity of this thing down a notch. Or three notches. I can't handle it, and I refuse to make myself miserable any longer. I don't have to not enjoy my yoga practice because of some crazy scheme that I can't have a balanced life with. Maybe this is just showing me that yeah, I can have a normal, happy life, complete with exercise, if I find a balanced level.
I finally did some meditation for the first time in pretty much over a week today. Just 10 minutes. They were anxiety free minutes, and I can't ask for much more than that. Much more than that is just kind of weird to me and doesn't help my stress level at all. It's not practical for my real life, so there's no point in continuing it.
As for eating - I DO EAT HEALTHY. I don't need to just eat brown rice and beans to eat healthy. I've cut out almost ALL caffeine and alcohol. I've had a cookie just about every day, but whatever. I always come up under my calorie count.
I'm going to have to get over this feeling that I'm not doing enough because I'm not doing what "everyone else" is, and remember that I'm doing enough for me. I need to get over feeling guilty about the cookies. I feel like I've given up, and I hate, hate, hate HATE that feeling.
Eight more days of no exercise but yoga, eating right (with some ice cream and cookies interspersed, cause... I can?) and some meditation. I can do that.
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