Week 2 begins.

Week two: at least 30 minutes of yoga a day, and 10 minutes of meditation morning and night.

Started out the morning by going to mass. Same place as last week. Just because this is how life works, it was the same priest. Because irony is fun, the gospel message was my favorite Bible story, the one I've held on to through my disillusionment with religion. And because I apparently needed some more torture with this journey, the priest made my favorite Bible story into a homily about death and destruction in Haiti... and abortion.

Mmmmmhmmmm. Yum-yum.

It wasn't so much the subject matter of the sermon. Wait, who am I kidding. Yes it was. The fact that the message so badly mangled my interpretation of the story about Jesus' first miracle jarred me so much I had to leave after Communion was served. I couldn't bear another second. Why that story? Why this week?

The signs are so obvious... but I don't have a clue what they're pointing to. Do I keep going to this church with this priest and face it each week as he shoves my biggest problems with religion in my face? Or is that stubborn? Do I change gears and try a different congregation, different denomination (perhaps the one I was raised with?), and see what happens? Or is that running away?

During yoga class today, we had to pick a word that would describe our attitude toward this next week. I chose openness. I need to remain open to figure out what I'm supposed to do with this weekly battering. I know where I'm leaning, but I want to clear my mind and figure it out with an open heart.

I shared the story of the past two weekends and my faith debacle with the class today. It was rather liberating, telling 60 other people that I have no idea what to do. I had several people approach me after, saying that they face the same issues I do. One considered yoga more spiritual than church because she feels church separates people. Another has a relationship with God, but has yet to find the right faith community to share that with. It's nice to know I'm not alone in this.

So this week... the official theme is vitality, but my word is openness. Open to hear whatever is trying to knock down the walls I've put up. Open to listen to my body, play with my eating habits and figure out what will sustain me through the day. Open to a longer meditation. Open to a healthy, vigorous practice.

Here we go.